A mind of a mad male
by D3athrider0908
Summary: I have not led a very straight life in fact my life has been a a whirlwind of things that i still regret, but i am still here and writing this. This is a story of my life every little detail, my regrets and my passions. Even up until this point where i still don't want to write this, i still look back and laugh at my comparisons to other owl's lives. I own nothing in the GoG series
1. A beginning

**This is technically my first 'Fanfic' though i have thought about this one for the past four years, better put i have tortured myself with it within the past four years. If you don't like to hear sappy annoying back-story that you read at the end of a book about the author feel free to skip the next paragraph.**

**It began about four years ago and turned into an obsession and i still can't believe i am finally righting it down because it has been driving me **_**insane**_** with it, everything you read i put myself through, feel free to just forget this and think of it as any regular fanfiction but i did this for four years and put myself inside his talons, per say and looking back I still can't believe i put myself through this; more towards the end as you will find out but of course I'm still debating how to start it but once it starts it will roll pretty damn fast down the hill (Not that i am going to make it go by quickly but that i will not stop for a bit and get a bunch of chapters done). That's my lament a lot shorter then i originally thought it may have become. **

**Enjoy the mind of a madman.**

I am writing this for the benefit of the great tree's library and because i was asked to, in an attempt to explain the happenings of what is going on through my eye's (Though i feel it is just an attempt to get me to comeback out) and otulissa has been badgering me about this for a long time now.

****My name is Valen i am a guardian of ga'hoole, and my story starts in my service to the pure ones.


	2. Chapter 1: Two beginnings

**I thought i would take this moment to tell anyone reading that A) I am having trouble with getting a computer, i am using my cousins. B) I find it very hard to find time to write even though i find it extremely enjoyable and i just wanted to know to expect (If anything) chapters or at least an update every week or two, as well i may not be able to get anything done in that time and i ask you politely not to expect a huge amount (Though that may be a bit unfair) of me. Thank you.**

My story starts in Ambala in a hollow that has been occupied for a very short period of time, my parents didn't enjoy staying in a tree due to their origins from the northern kingdoms. They were both bubo scandiacus, snowy owls my mother used to live more towards the border of northern and southern kingdoms where few trees and a little bit of low lying scrub life used to live. My father was born in the centre of the northern kingdoms. His family was well known for being vigorous fighters so he was ment to live up to the name. They met when his father was showing him the edges of the upper kingdom and where the land of ice turns to stone as his father did for him. They met and became good friends or so i was told by their friends and those still around to tell me at the time, after only a couple of years they grew into mates but felt threatened because his family was being hunted for rumors of assisting the ice talons. They ran to the southern kingdoms and were only there for less than two whole moon cycles when my egg was laid and I hatched out i can only remember up to four days after I hatched due to my memory being impeccable as will help me very soon into my life. You may be wondering why i wrote this but i felt it would assist with the unknowns about my past (All of this gathered later into my life of course) and now the real 'Story' begins now, Otuilissa i hope you're happy with this introduction because you will have to wait and read into the rest to learn more.

"Ifagr you're making him uncomfortable" The female to the hollow said looking up to her mate with an innocent look on her face

"I beg to differ Ilacia, i am just trying to see how good his memory really is" Ifagr claimed looking deeper into the hollow that him, his mate and his only son share together.

The hollow wasn't all the way into the tree so at best it's only a little bit cramped but they make due, because of the hollow situation not to many other owls lived nearby which made them feel more comfortable in raising their owlet together.

"It's under that one da" The little owlet said while putting the tip of his fledging wing towards one of the leaves that were laying on the floor to their small hollow "It's under that one da"

His father lifted the leaf to show a small worm lying underneath "Amazing Valen , how does he do it!" He asked looking at his mate incredulously

"You shouldn't quiz him so much he may learn to ask _why_ more than accepting it or even disobey you because he thinks your testing him" Ilacia smiled at him as she stepped over to her mate

"And if you had your way he would have already tried flying because you make him think he can do whatever he wants" He said smiling back "The boy needs some stricture, a back bone!" He laughed, his mate him in closer and he wrapped his wings around her "You know, we could have stayed the war ended a long time ago..."

"No I stand by _our_ decision to leave the north, i don't want to risk losing you" Ilacia said snuggling her head into her mate's wing "Very little of our friends could still be trusted they all just want a taste of being known" She said disgusted

The sun was begging to rise and their owlet had been sleeping a while ago and they had just been watching the sun rise from a branch outside their hollow

"How does he do it you wonder?" Ilacia asked Ifagr "I don't know maybe he was blessed from glaux like the legends of the lunar eclipse" He said jokingly

"I'm not joking, he learnt how to talk so quickly and he already knows the proper form to fly from a perch because he just observed us! He learnt how to fly by watching us!" She said looking at Ifagr with awe in her voice "Can you imagine what he might become?"

"Ha he can learn the definition of words and go to the 'great tree' and stupefy them by explaining what why the ice narrows were formed" the chuckling male said putting emphasis on the legend of the magnificent tree on an island only the free of evil can find.

"you shouldn't be so quick to judge a legend most are based of some sort of truth" His mate said sounding almost uptight "And I still think that we should tell him some of them"

"I know that you think it may help him but it would just give him something to look on that can't be true, he would go looking for his hero and who knows he may even find him" Ifagr was starting to sound almost remorseful.

"Dear, why do you think it such a bad influents? And what's wrong with him having hopes, if he made a hero from a story he would have a harder time reaching his hopes and if they are even a little bit true he might even meet a guardian" Ilacia said looking at the rising sun happily.

"I wish for him never to meet his hero, and I hope that he isn't let down by some false hope that makes him a murderer or some insane owl trying to get revenge" The male back to his original happy mood "We should go to sleep we said goodlight to Valen and I think that it's a bit late, even for us" She smiled at her mate as she stepped inside the tree.

Everything that was spoken in that little while was heard from a barn owl tree's away, and everything that they said saved their owlets life. The barn owl flew back to his commanding officer, he reported what he heard, and four owls were sent to retrieve Valen and his family.

The sun was past its peak in the sky when there was a rustling from outside the tree and ifagr woke at once. Standing outside the tree was an owl with a set of battle claws though they looked to be in poor shape with a talon missing from her left set another owl whose weapons faired less than the female in front of her with a helmet and half a set on his talons Ifagr didn't know why they wanted his family but he knew that there was no way that they could be here for good, maybe they were hire claws from the north? It didn't matter to him; he wouldn't let his family be harmed.

"What in the name of glaux is going on out th.." Ilacia was stopped mid sentence, her mate was outside with his talons locked in flight with a female barn owl, the second owl who was accompanying the first was pushed away by him flying out of the hollow yet he wasn't pushed far because the hollow was such a small space that he couldn't get any real momentum and was circling around to head back to the hollow. Ifagr looked back at his mate, the one owl that loved him enough to leave the northern kingdom with him, give up her friends even if she thought most of them were going to turn them in, and he made the hardest decision of his life.

Valen awoke to the sound of his mother's voice. When he opened his eyes he was blinded from the sun light but he saw a silhouette of two owls dancing and another going around them, the owl closest to his hollow pushed up as hard as he could as the third shadow was going around the second one and they all mashed together as the closest one pushed itself up and on top of the two others and folded its dark wings.

He heard his mother yell something as all three owls dropped outside of his sight and his eyes adjusted better to the light so he could make out the colours and shapes of his surroundings better now. He saw his mother standing at the edge of his hollow looking down to where the shadow owls fell; her eyes were as wide as he had ever seen in his short life. A shadow dropped in front of his hollow as a flash of feathers and a blur threw his mother back into the hollow to land a mere wingspan of his ill-formed body, his eye's grew wide as he saw his mother crying with an owl with a dirty looking white circle for a face and the same shade of grey across his body, he had his talons around his mothers throat, all in one movement he looked back and yelled something then lifted his defeated mother and smashed her head on the hollow floor knocking her unconscious.

"Hollow clear" the owl said after looking around "Female secure and the owlet is here"

Another owl who had the same markings on his body flew in after a while and said "All three are dead what do we do?"

"What do you mean? We know why we're here, we finish the mission" the owl standing over his mother said looking at the other owl with a look of incredulousness "Are you stupid? If we leave now we can get mobbed! and who knows what his pureness will do when he finds out we lost the captain and her guard!" the second owl argued loudly "But maybe he will reward us for bringing it back?"

"_There dead! _Our commanding officer is dead! Jaffan is dead to!" The owl hissed "It's this cursed owlets fault!" He glared over towards Valen who shrunk to less than half of his size

"I'm sorry I... I didn't mean to..." He said looking at the ground

"Fool!" The owl hissed as his red sun tinted eyes rested on Valen he jumped off Ilacia and struck him across his temple.

Valen would remember when the owl reached out to him, He would remember this day, he would remember their faces he would even remember the each individual pieces of his mothers feathers as they parted for her tears to go down her pure white face, he wouldn't remember what happened next but he did recall the darkness that followed. He would look back to this day later and think that it's the worst thing that could possible happen to him and his family.

But he would later look back on it and cling to the last remnants of him and his family and take hope from them as he is thrust through one of the hardest parts of his life.

_I never found out where it was that I was taken until later._

Valen awoke with a start; he took in a sudden breath that brought him back to the world though that breath gave him a sudden pain in his chest. In fact he noticed that he had a terrible pain in his head as well as his legs, so he just lay in the... _The what?_ He could see the stars so he knew he was outside. He left his head to fall to his side, there was dirt. In his line of sight he could see dirt come under him and go up into a slant towards a lip, beyond that h could see a tree line of lush green trees. Painfully the owlet turned his head back up to the stars, and let it fall limp to the other side as well. _More dirt?_ He probably would have thought the owls had fed him to the earth and it swallowed him whole had he not been able to see the stars

"How many are awake?" A voice sounded from nearby, Valen painfully strained his head towards the source of the voice

"Um... a bunch, but not all of them a lot are still asleep." Valen could make out the form of two birds, one appeared to be a ragged barn owl with his face a white ring that was poorly kept and ragged. The second appeared to have the same facial disk and a similar body but his was much darker, his face was shaped more elongated forming a heart but it wasn't as white as the older one his was dirty as if he rolled in the pit Valen found himself in. He looked much more preened and attentive then his cleaner counterpart. The thought of preening brought him back to his mother, to the silhouettes he saw and the owl that hit him. Then the blackness, the dark that he couldn't remember anything as if it swallowed up everything that happened to the world in that time and spit everyone back out unto where they all are now. The blackness _scared_ Valen mostly because he didn't know what had happen where he went or who was there, it was the vast _unknown_ that scared him but even worse the fact that he remembered ever little detail since he could remember and this little bit that was missing made him feel, incomplete.

"Hello...?" The battered owlets voice drifted weakly towards the two owls and it felt odd and unused as if all of his talking with his mum and da had made his voice so used to talking, or it meant that he was in that dark void for _much_ longer than he originally thought. As the fear and doubt began to bubble its way back up to the surface one of the two voices sneered,

"So it is alive... I heard its father killed the captain and her guard before they killed him with a slash across his throat!" It was the dirty owl who spoke up looking towards where lay Valen in his hole, "I also heard that the owlet killed rallo when they stopped for the day!" The incredulous bird said while fear crept into his voice.

"Ha! You think that little ball of wet plop could do anything at all to any of us? HA! I bet he couldn't do anything if he wanted to, if he had help from glaux he still couldn't hurt anything!" The older figure said "Besides his pureness wanted him as soon as he woke up." The younger owl getting the hint from the other owl flapped above Valen and swooped him up in his talons rather aggressively yet apprehensively, _Is he scared of me?_ Valen thought as the pain from the sudden jolt ebbed as they got higher into the air. Valen noticed that his hole was not the only one here and that there were at least... _two... ya two..._ Beside his, they were hastily dug out in front and there were other owls inside of them, they were positioned around a large rock that jutted out from the ground much higher from the owl that carried him now, there were owls skulking around and in between the holes occasionally peering in to look at the owlets inside and owls on the cliff looking down and watching them. It all dropped out of sight as they came into the forest coverage.

"I can't wait to find out what he has in stored for you." The owl said grinning with some sort of sick pleasure.

Eventually they came across a large stone spire made up of smaller stones, it had a very high line of stones heading towards the right and into another spire but it was not complete and was not even half the size as the first. This process repeated to another yet even smaller tower. The owlets carrier flew him up to the largest of the three where he dropped him to the ground with a soft _thud_ and landed beside him.

"High tyto." The owl spoke as Valen got over yet another joust of pain and tried to right himself upwards "I brought the owlet as you commanded he woke up only moments before I departed." The owl spoke to another white faced owl but this one was smaller than the others he had seen, he looked very happy compared to everything that Valen had dealt with recently and his smile was off putting.

"Leave us." He spoke with a commanding voice "Now."

The bird that carried Valen lifted off briskly and exited through the hole that he had just recently flew into.

"So, out little owlet finally woke up!" He was perched upon a very ornate stick that was positioned at the far end of the roomy spherical tower. "Were the dreams good?" Valen couldn't say anything he was still adjusting to so many things at once.

"Not a talkative little chick, hm? Well that's too bad because if not you'll wish that you did in the end." His smile was just, _weird. _Valen didn't know why but it just seemed off, like it was just too big for his beak.

"Alright child, you're a snowy owl correct?" Valen nodded as this strange owl stepped down from his perch and started stepping towards the scared little chick. "But your family lives in a tree and that just screams suspicion so where were you from originally? The barrens? The north?" He tilted his head but his smile stayed put

"My d... da talks ab... about the north from t... time to t... time..." The scared owlet stammered whilst staring at this strange owls beak growing very uncomfortable at his questioning

"What was his name?" The strange smiling owl glared wickedly

"Ifagr he talked about the n... north every now an... and then" Valens mind began to wander back towards his mother "Do you know where my mum is? Some owls came into our hollow and hit her, and where's my da?"

"Ah perfect conversations change! Tell me what happened from when these owls got to your hollow up until now." The white faced owl said with a bit of questioning in his voice

"Well..." Valen told him everything that had happened, the shadow birds, the owl that hit his mother even the fact that the bird used his left set of talons to hit Valen with.

"I see... Since you have no reason to lie i have deduced that the corporal of late has spun an elaborate tale to try and make it seem that he isn't a complete failure and that i should spare his unfortunate life." He looked around the tiled room of the tower as he talked aloud "And whom shall deliver this punishment I suppose..." His grin stretching his beak even more to the point that Valen felt the need to step back from this owl

"And i not only know just the owl to do it, the owl may just feel the need to once i tell him _every little detail_." The grinned owl said looking at Valen with a sinister gleam in his eyes.

**There upfated and fixed. if you spot anymore mess ups feel free to report them. (Really though please do)**

**as well i have the next chaptor but i just need time to get it out into the site.**


	3. -UPDATE, (Revised)-

**My most recent work was deleted due to a miscommunication so that is why nothing was uploaded,**

**Sorry about that...**

**As well I have a question about if you want me to go into detail about what happens to Valen and how he becomes what he becomes or just skip to when he's older, clearly both good and bad parts about this one good being you understand what's happening a lot better and get to know characters, relationships, and the general plot much better.**

**On the other hand It's a time consumer and possible 'boring' to some folk so skipping till the end of it (Like a training montage, gives some highlights and then brings you to the end).**

**Again I would love a new name, so feel free to suggest one or eight in the reviews.**

**Anyways I'm mostly writing this to say sorry for anyone who expected to wake up (If anyone even cared enough to read what I posted, or even read any of the story) to another chapter. So this is more of a sorry for making a liar of myself, but again miscommunication (The profile I was using was deleted, all work was erased)**

**Sorry folks.**


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